Live from the MUD: The Second Annual XYZZYs

Auditorium
Newly dug, this immense auditorium is almost pristine. 
Hundreds of rows of plush velvet seats surround the 
main stage in a graceful 'U.' Wide aisles allow easy 
passage, and converge into a shallow orchestra pit. There 
is a brightly-lit doorway to the west, over which hangs 
the helpful sign, "Exit."
On the stage you can see a podium.
Spatch hollers, "FREE PIE to whoever can help me with 
our MUD's wildcard/substitution system!"
neild says, "Mmm... pie."
Atomic looks impressed at the nice comfy seats.
In front of the entire MUD: jaysmith hollers (at Spatch), 
"What's the problem?"
Atomic looks impressed with all the famous names from 
r.a.i-f here...
DGlasser waves at all.
eileen tugs nervously at her little black dress.
mamster storms out, forgetting his pants.
Atomic straightens his bow tie
ddyte tugs nervously at his little black dress.
Jstn asks, "is it possible to block out everything the 
audience says, and only hear what the person on the 
podium says?"
Den levitates to ten feet and then remains there, cross-
legged
Grocible wonders if he should be wearing something 
special
neild says (to Jstn), "SHUT EARS."
Spatch changed especially for the occasion.
mamster stares, enrapt, at the funky chicken.
Adam says (to Jstn), "That would kill mimesis."
>KILL MIMESIS
Mimesis cries!
ddyte says, "Mimesis is dead, Jim."
Jalkio ashes a cigarette into the collar of the person 
sitting in front of him.
markm says, "It's his game, after all."
zarf turns around and whaps Jalkio
You were supposed to nurture mimesis.
Sargent dozes off, his nose dipping into his program.
A hollow voice says, "No smoking please."
eileen exclaims, "That would be a crime! No, a sin!"
neild cranes his neck to see over all the tall people.
Jalkio says (to zarf), "Sorry."
markm stands on his chair.
Ivan exclaims (to ddyte), ""Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not 
an editor!"
zarf eats the curtains.
Grocible pulls on a casual chainmail shirt over his 
leopardskin spandex bodysuit
neild lops off the head of the person in front of him.
zarf says (to curtains), "Sorry."
Grocible puts on his pith helmet
ddyte exclaims (to neild), "Ow!"
Jalkio puts off his cigarette on Zarf's neck.
jaysmith take a seat.
Spatch says, "oh boy."
Sargent says, "If Cask wins, I'm rushing the stage."
mamster says (to Sargent), "It's going to win.  I rigged it."
Spatch asks, "Is Matt Barringer getting the Lifetime 
Achievement Award this year?"
markm raises his hand. "Um," he says.  "I appear to have 
broken my chair."
Sargent exclaims (to mamster), "Sweet!"
Den asks, "Sadie Hawkins?"
Jalkio shouts "HEIST! HEIST! HEIST!"
ddyte says (to Spatch), "You da man."
Grocible says, "poor matt barringer"
mamster says (to Den), "The best rock band made up of 
all ifMUD regulars."
zarf says, "Hell, poor anyone who the newsgroup decides 
to laugh at."
Grocible says, "I think we should stop using Matt 
Barringer's name in vain"
The newsgroup laughs at zarf.
mamster tries to start a mosh pit, but is shut down by 
security.  Off the pig!
devil says (to neild), "Good afternoon."
Jalkio draws a banderoll saying "Andy Rules!
DGlasser exclaims (to devil), "Satan!"
Spatch says (to zarf), "actually, all I did was use the 
MUD's new %easy-target substitution feature."
ddyte says (to Grocible), "Do we have to? I had 57 
slagging references to him all lined up for my next game."
Spatch says (to zarf), "it automatically figures out the 
person who will least likely be able to defend themselves 
from whatever pithy barbs you choose to fling."
Den says, "I'll never release anything in my own name 
then."
eileen checks her watch. It's 3:59! We'll be starting soon...
Den says, "Of course, that was always inevitable."
TikiBoy says, "This security is pretty harsh."
Ghogg calmly takes out a ray gun and vaporizes security.
mamster says (to TikiBoy), "Rock and roll is not a pretty 
thing."
Ghogg asks, "There, isn't that better?"
neild begins clapping in unison. At least as unison as one 
person can get, anyway.
zarf offs the pig.
devil says, "I trained all the security guards myself."
DGlasser claps with neild.
Spatch starts logging.
Jalkio joins neild.
mamster is on the edge of his seat.
neild says, "CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP"
ddyte syncopates on that rhythm.
Ender begins clapping out of unison.
TikiBoy asks (to mamster), "No kidding!!  What's the deal 
with most alternative bands looking like they need a flea 
dip?"
Ender attempts to throw off neild's rhythm.
eileen walks over to the podium.
Den practices clapping but forgot to code his hands as 
separate objects...
mamster says (to Tiki), "Mmm...sheep dip."
ddyte plays bass to the rhythm.
Spatch sells overpriced t-shirts, incense sticks, and wall 
hangings.
eileen clears her throat to get everyone's attention.
DGlasser claps with one hand.
Grace Jones is Slave to the Rhythm.
Sargent lets his attention wander.
devil waves his wand and gives everyone a few more 
hands.
Ender walks over to the podium and orders a Tom Collins.
eileen says, ""Welcome to the second annual XYZZY 
awards!""
DGlasser listens to eileen.  Sort of.
Ghogg buys an incense stick reading 'I Went to the 
Second Annual XYZZY Awards and All I Got Was This 
Stupid Incense Stick.'
neild says, "Last year's was better."
eileen says, "We have 10  winners  to honor tonight, in 
both old categories and new."
Dilbon asks, "What was it like last year?"
neild exclaims, "Best Game for best old category!"
DGlasser lost already.
markm exclaims, "shhh!"
eileen says, "It's just like the academy awards.."
Would the owner of a red toyota, license plate xyzzy, 
please remove your car from the handicapped parking 
zone?
Gunther puts baby in blender
blender cries!
zarf says, "Guess it was Bruce's car."
devil asks, "I wonder if the devil will win this year 
(again)?"
eileen says, "I will present the first award, the winner of 
the Best Use of Medium award."
DGlasser asks (to eileen), "The big overpriced games 
win?"
mamster asks (to eileen), "Wait--what about the part 
where Billy Crystal sings that damn song?"
eileen says, "And the nominees are..."
Den munches pop-corn contentedly.
neild asks, "Where are the people from the polling firm?"
TikiBoy cuts the suspense with a butter knife.
devil turns Den's popcorn into stones.
eileen says, "A New Day (Jonathan Fry)("
eileen says, "Interstate Zero (Adam Cadre)"
zarf whistles
liza says, "YEAH SADIE RULEZ!!!1"
lpsmith pats Adam on the back.
TikiBoy pats Adam on the back soundly.
lpsmith exclaims (to TikiBoy), "Timing!"
Sargent exclaims, "Play Freebird!"
eileen says, "Sunset Over Savannah (Ivan Cockrum)"
TikiBoy says (to adam), "You know, it's an honor just to 
be nominated..."
ddyte sits quietly sipping mineral water waiting for the 
Great Prophet Zarquon.
Pastiche sings, "I been up and down that highway, 
haven't seen a goddamn thing..."
Atomic wishes he'd played more games...
eileen says, ""The Space Under the Window (Andrew 
Plotkin)"
Den wishes he'd played _any_ games.
Jstn votes for Titanic.. oops wrong awards
eileen says, "and The Tempest (Graham Nelson)"
Adam asks (to Jstn), "But what about all the nudity?"
Dilbon asks, "A draw?"
neild exclaims, "Yay William!"
mamster exclaims, "Yay nudity!"
eileen waits for the drumroll
Bruce drumrolls.
Drums roll.
And Titanic wins for Most Nekkid People Award....   She's 
Got A Thing gets honorable mention...
Drum rolls!
Ghogg rolls a drum.
Spatch rolls a drum nosily down the aisle.
Sargent says, "BrrrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRrrrrrr..."
Jstn says, "ok, they could have taken stuff out of it, but 
the story was still good"
Den says, "Verily, 'tis a fine gamme."
eileen says, "And the winner is...."
Drums roll into the audience, injuring hundreds.
neild dies from the suspense.
Sadie rolls a wicked snare.
devil revives neild.
zarf bates breath
Jalkio starts stomping his foot. "Savannah, savannah!"
eileen exclaims, "The Tempest ... Graham Nelson!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims (to devil), "Timing!"
neild exclaims, "Whoa!"
lpsmith Whoops!
markm cheers wildly.
Den exclaims, "Huzzah!"
Ellison asks, "what award was this?"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo Graham!"
Sargent applauds madly.
DGlasser cheers!
Atomic dies of suspense
liza says, "Wow."
Bruce claps.
Spatch exclaims, "AWRIGHT! Acceptance speech in iambic 
pentameter!"
devil asks, "Is he here?"
Sargent says, "Someone needs to do their parody of 
Graham now."
Grocible exclaims, "Graham wins again!"
zarf cpas
lpsmith boogies.
DGlasser exclaims, "Go Ariel!"
Jemima Applauds!!!
TikiBoy applauds loudly!!
Stu042 applauds
Adam says, "Man, Angela M. Horns was robbed."
devil says, "I prefer Caliban myself."
Ellison applesauces
Gunther applauds madly (he voted this)
eileen asks, "Is Graham here to accept his award?"
Graham says, "I have prepared a three-hour acceptance 
speech in the style of Stephen Douglas.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Anyone here to take this 
trophy off my hands?"
markm looks around.
Adam exclaims, "Er, I'm Graham!"
Spatch asks, "doesn't the Earl of Oxford get to accept the 
award?"
markm slaps Adam.
Sargent says, "_I_ am Graham."
Taj cheers
neild exclaims, "No, I'm Graham. And so's my wife!"
ddyte exclaims, "I'm Graham and so is my ex-wife!"
lpsmith exclaims, "I'm Graham, and so is my wife!"
mamster says, "I am Tiger Woods, dammit."
DGlasser exclaims, "Me too!"
neild exclaims, "Mega-timing!"
Bruce exclaims, "Timing!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Eeeagh!  Timing!"
Spatch asks, "Which of you is the author they call 
Grahamacus?"
DGlasser quoted everything first.
Jalkio exclaims, "Graham is my ex-wife!"
liza says, "NEXT."
Spartacus says, "I'm Graham."
markm asks, "Which award was that?"
eileen exclaims, ""OK, no worry. We will make sure 
Grapham gets his award, and the XYZZYnews T-shirt that 
will be sent to all winners!!"
DGlasser says, "Always look on the bright side of life."
TikiBoy munches some Graham crackers.
NamelessAdventurer sadly packs the humongous trophy 
away for shipment to Grahamland.
Ellison says (to Spatch), "keep up with that and we'll all 
be crucified before the awards are done.."
Grocible senses a little impatience
Bruce applauds wildly.
Shakespeare says, "I'll take that trophy, thank you."
Ivan exclaims, "Gramaclese cares not for beans!"
DGlasser exclaims, "There's a prize?  Wow!"
devil asks, "Hey! Why weren't there t-shirts last year?!?"
mamster says (to zarf), "Yep.  You were robbed."
Bruce robs Zarf.
neild zarfs Rob.
ddyte says, "Shakespeare's use of his medium sucked. 
Only Graham made The Tempest live."
Ellison zarfs Rob
lpsmith robs Zarfus to pay Graham.
Adam exclaims (to ddyte), "Ha!"
eileen asks, ""Zarf, I'll send you a belated T-shirt, okay?"
edharel says, "Hello, all"
zarf mutters, If I'da known there were shirts I woulda 
voted for myself.
Bruce exclaims, "Timing!"
Stephen Keaton says (to neild), "Is it Bob or Rob?"
eileen says, "Now let me introduce our next presenter..."
Grocible asks, "is zarf low on shirts?"
devil asks (to eileen), "Just Zarf?"
mamster says, "Okay, I can't even type fast enough to 
make jokes here."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Now?"
devil weeps.
SadieHawkins strikes up a stunning rendition of, "You 
Made My Dog Not Love Me Anymore."
Bruce cries!
Ellison makes a witty joke that impels all to laugh
lpsmith sets up a collection for the "Keep Zarf Clothed" 
Fund.
markm cheers!  Oh, wait...
TikiBoy says (to mamster), "You know, it's an honor to 
just be able to type..."
Ellison says, "make that compels"
Jstn asks, "who won the first award?"
Adam says (to mamster), "Load Film Now."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Now?"
Sargent sets up a collection for the "Make Zarf Unclothed" 
fund.
eileen says, "Here to present"
DGlasser says (to jstn), "Shakespeare."
eileen says, "...the award for Best Individual PC..."
Grocible asks, "wasn't it mamster cheering nudity just 
now?"
neild says, "ZARF, UNDRESS."
Dilbon shakes his spear.
Spatch says, "MAKE.NEKKID.FAST"
markm closes his eyes.
mamster says (to Grocible), "That is correct.  But not 
random acts of nudity."
A jumbo jet zooms noisily by overhead, temporarily 
drowning out the proceedings.  damned airport hotel 
ballrooms!
Den stares in horror as time slows to a standstill - on his 
server, anyway. :-(
eileen exclaims, "...is the Adventurer! Take it away!"
Gunther donates sums of money to lpsmith's fund
Grocible says, "pffft! anarchist nudity is nudity at its best"
NamelessAdventurer clears his/her throat.
mamster says (to Grocible), "Actually, random acts of 
nudity are fine, depending on who is doing the 
displaying."
DGlasser says (to sargent), "Black."
Bruce opens a bottle of champagne and sprays it about 
wildly.
mamster says (to Grocible), "Actually, they're fine in 
general."
devil shoots flame at everyone in glee.
Grocible says, "mamster: come visit Wreck Beach 
sometime in the summer"
Grocible listens to the Nameless Adventurer
mamster wrecks beach.
Spatch echo beaches.
markm listens with abated breath.
Den freezes, flickers badly, comes to life briefly then 
freezes again.
Bruce puts the baby in the blender.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hi! I'm the Nameless 
Adventurer! You know me from such games as the Zork 
Trilogy and the Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die! series!"
devil heats Den up a bit so he won't freeze any more.
Sargent asks (to Spatch), "There's a series?"
DGlasser says (to sarge), "Unfortunately."
>PICK UP NAMELESS ADVENTURER
ddyte says, "I always thought that adventurer's name 
was David Dyte. Damn."
****You have died****
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Today I get to introduce 
one of the new categories, instituted by popular acclaim: 
Best Individual PC!"
Gunther picks up the phone booth
Bruce dies.
zarf attempts to shackle Stu042 to his chair, too
NamelessAdventurer says, "This is my only moment of 
glory. Other than lugging around this stupid trophies..."
Ender exclaims, "The Phone Booth for Best Individual PC!"
Ender ignores NamelessAdventurer's moment of glory.
Gunther dies.
markm shivers slightly, turns translucent and, without 
warning, evaporates into the aether.
Dilbon says, "The most PC award."
Ellison sighs, wistfully, and remembers his childhood 
dream to lug around trophies...
NamelessAdventurer says, "Really, after last year, I'm a 
bit upset that they didn't let me MC the whole thing this 
year..."
lpsmith says (to NamelessAdventurer), "Well, you won 
Zork III,..."
Jstn likes the teddy bear from Bear's night out
Adam exclaims, "Best Individual Mac: Macaulay Culkin!"
Jalkio says, "Votes himself for the best individual PC."
Spatch surreptitiously wanders around the aisles selling 
rotted fruits and vegetables.
DGlasser buys fruit.
NamelessAdventurer wobbles on the podium in a drug-
induced haze.
Jemima listens to that Nameless guy.
DGlasser joins the horde.
ddyte exclaims (to Spatch), "Tomato here!"
There's some confusion as no one can tell apart the Daddy 
Mac or the Mac Daddy...
Spatch exclaims (to ddyte), "that's no tomato, that's my 
sister!"
Adam exclaims, "Warm it up, Chris!"
Ellison exclaims, "I'm about to!"
Ellison exclaims, "haah!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "1. The Bear, from A Bear's 
Night Out (David Dyte)"
Ivan exclaims (to Spatch), "Oh fruit boy!  I'll take a 
cabbage while you're at it!"
Jstn cheers for the bear
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo! Yeah! Awright!"
Adam exclaims, "Snuggle must die!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAAAH DAVE AND BEAR!!!!"
Ender gives the bear a hug.
NamelessAdventurer says, "2. David, from Babel (Ian 
Finley)"
Sargent chants, "bear...Bear...BEAR!"
Ellison cheers for the bear
mamster says (to Adam), "Blue is pretty."
devil cheers and whoops for the bear!
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAH IAN!!!!!!!"
Bruce exclaims, "BEAR!  BEAR!  BEAR!"
even if the bear doesn't molest that dumb guy in the 
bed...
Atomic go Ian!
Spatch exclaims, "And then the bear comes back for more 
fighting!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "3. Tracy Valencia, from I-0 
(Adam Cadre)"
DGlasser says (to nameless), "You just gave away the 
whole plot."
Tracy Valencia cries! Naked!
Taj exclaims, "Tracy! Tracy!"
IF rushes in, tying his bow tie and slipping on his tailcoat
Sargent says, "Tracy does IF."
edharel says, "I-0! (The only one I've played :))"
NamelessAdventurer says, "4. Improv, from Frenetic Five 
(Neil deMause)"
Ender exclaims, "Hey! We used up the nudity jokes 
already!"
zarf hugs Tracy.
ddyte exclaims, "Nude Improv!"
Bruce licks Tracy.
DGlasser exclaims (to neild), "YEAH!!! NEIL!!!"
edharel exclaims, "Oh, err, and FrenFive too!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "5. Mattie, from the Lost 
Spellmaker (Neil James BRown)"
devil exclaims, "Improv rocks!"
Grocible says, "nudity is an endless source of hilarity"
Guest says, ""Yay neil!""
Tracy slaps Zarf.  "And dinner was no fun either!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
mamster says (to ddyte), "Live nude improv would be 
really funny."
mamster says (to ddyte), "Actually someone always gets 
naked during theatre sports."
NamelessAdventurer tears open the envelope.
Sargent says, "Shh."
DGlasser strips.
Spatch exclaims, "bare bear!"
NamelessAdventurer looks.
Jalkio exclaims, "Why wasn't the player character from 
Symetry a nominee!?! Boo!"
Sargent whomps Spatch.
zarf exclaims, "bare dwarf!"
Ellison says, "someday, we may have an award with only 
Neil nominees..."
NamelessAdventurer cringes.
devil exclaims, "Say it already!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "The inner is Tracy 
Valencia, from I-0!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "The winner, even!"
DGlasser asks, "The inner?"
Sargent asks, "Who's the outer?"
DGlasser asks, "What's the outer?"
mamster exclaims, "I thought she was an outie!"
edharel says, "I-0!!!! *clap* *clap*"
Taj cheers wildly!
Spatch says, "WOOOOOHOOOOO"
Guest asks, "Um, the inner?"
lpsmith asks, "She's an innie?"
Adam says, "Wow!  What can I say?  I'm touched.  And 
even though Tracy couldn't be here to accept this award, 
I'm sure she's touched too.  In fact, she's probably being 
touched this very moment."
DGlasser exclaims (to sarge), "Timing!"
Sargent politely applauds Tracy and her muse Adam.
unicorn congratulates Adam
Atomic congratulates Adam!
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY!!!! Adam!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims (to adam), "you practiced that one for 
weeks! admit it!"
Guest exclaims, "congrats Adam!"
Adam says, ""What makes this award especially 
meaningful is that Tracy won it on merit.  See, she'd 
planned to rig the awards by sleeping with everyone on 
r*if.  But she got mixed up and ended up sleeping with 
everyone on alt.tv.teletubbies instead."
IF says, "Bravi"
DGlasser says (to adam), "You see, this is why I didn't 
cheer earlier."
Bruce shakes Adam's hand.
ddyte congratulates Adam and heads off to sulk 
somewhere.
zarf cheers for sex in IF.
IF says, "Thank you zarf ;)"
Jstn cheers for the bear, winner of People
Spatch says (to zarf), "wait'll adam enhances I-0 for 
Blorb."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Adam, would you like to say 
a few words?"
lpsmith and a bunch of others hoist Adam to their 
shoulders, chanting.
liza says (to Adventurer), "He already did."
NamelessAdventurer realizes Adam's already saying 
words, and slumps in disgrace.
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual PC trophy to 
Adam.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Here."
SadieHawkins jams out to "Free Bird" in celebration.
Ellison mistakes the Nameless Adventurer for the head 
from 'Losing'... and after growing tired of making fun of 
it, kicks it in the head
Den says, "Phew!""
Jalkio mutters: "At least there was nothing commercially 
sexual about the PC in Symetry."
Sargent says, "I want to hear about the accounting firm 
responsible for handling voting."
Adam says, "I-- I believe that art is about giving, so I 
want to ask Mr. Jack Lemmon to come up on stage and 
take this award."
mamster falls over.
DGlasser exclaims (to jalkio), "Hey!  I liked symmetry!"
mamster asks (to Adam), "Who do you think you AHHHH?  
Ving RHAAAAAMES?"
edharel asks, "I don't 'know the word 'sex'.  What would 
your mother say?"
Adam says (to mamster), "I knew you'd be the only one 
to get that."
Ivan gives Tracy Valencia to zarf.
Ellison plots to make fake XYZZY awards t-shirts and sell 
them to shafted nominees for outrageous prices...
eileen says, "Now let me introduce the presenter of the 
next award..."
Sargent exclaims (to Ellison), "Hey! This t-shirt says 
"yzzyX" on it!"
Sargent exclaims (to Ellison), "That's not right!"
eileen exclaims, "Here to present the award for Best 
Individual NPC is last year's winner: the devil from Small 
World!"
Spatch says (to sargent), "That's ok, sir it'll ride up with 
wear.  No, wait. Sorry."
mamster asks, "Hey, is Kim Basinger going to be 
presenting?"
Ellison exclaims (to Sargent), "you read the warranty, 
right?  that's right, buddy, there wasn't one!"
devil says, "Thank, you all. No, don't boo, really."
Sargent says (to Ellison), "Oh, man, oh, man, I was such a 
fool."
edharel dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
Sargent says (to Ellison), "AND this thing needs batteries. 
Geez."
devil pushes Sargent off the podium
edharel got XYZZY t-shirt.
devil says, "The nominees for best individual NPC are..."
neild exclaims, "De-VIL! De-VIL!"
edharel asks, "Alright, who wanted an Xyzzy shirt?"
devil says, "...Taco Junta girl in Interstate Zero   (Adam 
Cadre)..."
Adam says, "Sheila the Taco Junta girl says thanks for the 
nomination, and she'll meet you all here at six o'clock to 
thank you all personally."
Dilbon asks, "Cruella DeVil?"
devil says, "2.  The big tree in Sum Game Zero."
mamster exclaims, "Taco!"
edharel exclaims, "Taco Junta!"
Spatch exclaims, "It'll be a sapphic shocker should she 
win!"
devil says, "...Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die   (R. 
Noyes)..."
Grocible asks, "Sheila eh?"
Bruce shocks a Sapphic.
devil says, "Sorry, that last one I think was wrong."
Ender chants, "Phone booth! Phone booth!"
devil says, "I'm pasting these in here from another text 
program, gimme a sec..."
Ellison exclaims, "who's going to tell the phone booth?  
he'll be crushed!"
Paul bows to Liza in gratitude
devil says, "...Bob in She's Got a Thing for a Spring   (Brent 
vanFossen)..."
IF cuts tension with knife
ddyte says, "Once again the devil gets his ass whipped, 
just like in Georgia."
devil says, "...The devil in Sins Against Mimesis   (Adam 
Thornton)..."
IF applauds wildly for Brent
> HIT BOB WITH FIST
Adam says, "3. Bob the Microsoft OS..."
Taj repairs tension with glue.
mamster says (to ddyte), "I hear Jesus just left Chicago."
Bruce cheers wildly for his own game.
devil says, "...The Stranger in The Edifice   (Lucian 
Smith)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY Other DEVIL!!!!"
devil says, "...The cow in The Lost Spellmaker   (Neil 
James Brown)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY STRANGER!!!!"
ddyte says, "Moooooo"
neild says, "Mmm... cow."
lpsmith attempts to look modest, and fails.
Spatch exclaims, "COWS ALWAYS WIN!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEIL's COW!!!!"
Dilbon says, "Don't have a cow, man."
edharel asks, "moo?"
Taj exclaims, "Go Stranger! Go Friend!"
Ender says, "This is nothing out of the ordinary. Cows 
turn themselves inside out all the time."
TikiBoy says, "Jesus kicks Satan's ass."
devil takes the envelope.
DGlasser exclaims, "GO EVERYONE!"
DGlasser asks (to tiki), "South Park?"
devil tears it open.
mamster exclaims, "Go Fighting Marmosets!"
Ellison feels compelled to cheer for the cow...
TikiBoy exclaims (to dglasser), "of course!"
neild exclaims, "Let's go, devil!"
devil loses the envelope in all the confusion.
Spatch says, "Rise, and shout, the Ameobas are out..."
Ender butchers and eats the cow.
devil picks it up again.
Ellison eats the envelope!
Armed thugs from Price Waterhouse commit mass 
slaughter.
Spatch thinks the spear and stump should get a co-
nomination
lpsmith gives devil the envelope.  Really!
devil says, "And the winner is..."
Spatch says, "What a team."
For good measure, Ender butchers and eats Tracy 
Valentia.
liza exclaims, "YOUR MOM!"
devil says, "She's Got a Thing --> Bob"
lpsmith cheers!
Spatch exclaims, "YAY BOB!"
neild applauds!
Ghogg exclaims, "Whee!"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo! Yay Bob!"
devil exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay Bob!"
IF says, "emotes continues to cheer wildly"
Adam exclaims, "Eww!  She's got a THING!"
Bruce cheers, then breaks into explosive sobs.
ct applauds for bob!!
liza asks, "But what about Bob?"
edharel says, "*clap* *clap*"
Jemima applauds loudly, even though she hasn't played 
that game yet.
mamster exclaims (to Adam), "Some kind of SQUID 
THING!"
Spatch exclaims, "She's got a thing for a squid!"
devil levitates from the podium.
Dilbon says, "Bob killed Laura Palmer."
Jalkio exclaims, "Yay Bob! A man to my liking!"
Ellison exclaims, "Now you can afford a real house that's 
not out there in nowhere!"
ddyte feels Bruce's pain in return. Ooh, squishy.
Spatch says (to dilbon), "no, that was BoB. or bOb."
Ender sings, "Jesus brother Bob, Jesus brother Bob, a 
nobody relative of the Son of God."
TikiBoy says, "Microsoft Bob."
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is Brent here anywhere?"
devil goes and sulks that he didn't win 2 years in a row. 
Then he cheers up again and congratulates Brent 
vanFossen.
Jalkio says (to dglasser), "Bob."
DGlasser asks, "Wasn't the devil bob too?"
DGlasser asks, "The cool nature photo guy, right?"
Paul looks over his shoulder to make sure his boss isn't 
watching.
Gunther congratulates
Atomic asks, "Maybe someone can pick up the award on 
his behalf?"
lpsmith says (to DG), "Yup."
eileen says, "Congratulations, Brent! If you're not hear -- 
ps, here -- we'll send you your trophy and t-shirt"
Brent's wife comes forward to accept the award.
devil says, "There's a trophy, too?!? Damn, I've got to 
write more games."
Paul says, "He's out taking pictures somewhere in Florida. 
No, really."
Ganvira hollers, "Uh, I think someone killed the lounge 
area."
Ellison asks, "do I smell incense?"
eileen says, "Well, just a virtual trophy. The t-shirt will 
be real."
ddyte says, "T-shirt *and* trophy? Geez now I'm really 
cut up."
Dilbon says, "I have never seen a real T-shirt."
lpsmith says, "Hey, some wizzard teleport inky in here."
eileen exclaims, "Not a real trophy! Sorry to get anyone's 
hopes up!"
Bruce smells incense.
Grocible says, "I have a bowling trophy that some dork 
gave me as an office Christmas party present that I could 
donate to the next awards"
Bruce buys some pot.
ddyte plays with Matt and Terry in the corner.
edharel gives band aid to Bruce.
NamelessAdventurer goes up to the podium again.
DGlasser says, "The scoreboard is screwed up."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Where are we? Best 
individual puzzle? Oh, yeah."
mamster says (to Grocible), "I have a Boys Club soccer 
trophy.  So nyaa."
west_pillar asks, "Am I on? What?"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Here to introduce the award 
for Best Individual Puzzle is a puzzle you all know and 
love..."
liza asks (to Ganvira), "Is that better?"
west_pillar rocks back and forth.
edharel says, "I'll close my ears/eyes.  Don't want to see 
any spoilers..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (to west_pillar), "Not yet!"
Jalkio exclaims, "I vote all of Symetry for best individual 
puzzle!"
Adam exclaims, "They'll R2-45 our asses!"
Dilbon says, "Where is the Worst Individual Puzzle 
Award? I really should get it for the statue puzzle in 
Leaves"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Here it is! The west pillar 
from So Far!"
mamster says (to Adam), "Amnesia ray."
west_pillar exclaims, "Hiya!"
Stu042 exclaims, "yay pillar!"
west_pillar looks only slightly confused.
Ganvira says, "Oh, OK."
markm tips the pillar.
mamster asks, "Pilar?"
liza says, "Mmm... rice pilar."
mamster asks, "?Pilar, es tu?"
neild picks up the pillar, and dies.
edharel says, "I'll go check r.[a|g].if"
west_pillar exclaims, "It's great to see so many people 
here today!"
Atomic says, "zarf "How does it feel to meet your 
creation?""
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual Puzzle 
nominees to west_pillar.
Gunther tries to assassinate Nameless, shouting "I AM 
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE!"
west_pillar says, "And... um..."
Ellison asks (to pillar), "you're not going to preach the 
faith on us, are you?"
Grocible asks, "so what's the next award?"
Bruce exclaims, "I want some snackycakes!"
west_pillar fumbles for the list of nominees
Jalkio eats a banana in honor of Rybread.
neild wonders where the hors d-oeuvres went.
west_pillar says, "I forgot my big list of catchy intro 
lines."
mamster says (to Ellison), "I'm gonna preach the faith all 
over your mom."
devil asks (to west_pillar), "Do pillars have hands?"
Bruce asks, "Where the hell are the Cheezy Poofs?"
Adam notes that the pillar isn't wearing the customary 
lapel ribbon!  Shame!  Shame!
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yeah, I want some cheezy poofs!!"
Ender exclaims (to Bruce), "Yeah, I want Cheezy Poofs!"
Dilbon poofs.
mamster says (to Tiki), "That does sound pretty gooood."
west_pillar asks, "Hey, why is an Egyptian mummy like a 
gospel singer?"
devil says (to Ender), "Poof! You're Cheezy."
Spatch says (to adam), "i gotcher Cause-Of-The-Moment 
ribbons HANGING LOW, PAL."
Bruce asks, "How about some chocolate chicken pot pie?"
lpsmith pushes the west_pillar.
neild exclaims (to west_pillar), "They both slept with Bill 
Clinton!"
west_pillar exclaims, "Because they're both bound for the 
promised land!"
DGlasser exclaims, "su-weet!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "No, kitty, it's my chicken pot pie!!"
mamster says, "Eeagh!  Elliott Abrams! "
Spatch says, "I thought it was cause they both hang out in 
Memphis."
west_pillar rocks back and forth.
liza sets the pillar on fire.
Ender exclaims (to TikiBoy), "MOM!!!! Kitty's being a 
dildo!"
Bruce exclaims, "Bad Kitty!  MY POT PIE!"
Ganvira exclaims, "Oy!!"
NamelessAdventurer says (to west), "Cut to the chase, I 
think..."
Spatch spray-paints "STINKY POOP ASS" on the pillar.
Bruce exclaims, "Well, I know a certain kitty kitty who's 
sleeping with mommy tonight!"
edharel asks, "The question is: Who is Lewinsky and 
Hillary?"
Ender asks, "What?"
west_pillar looks disappointed.
west_pillar says, "Ok, I'll cut to the chase."
Jemima listens attentively to West Pillar.
Bruce exclaims, "Ultra-vibe pleasure 2000!"
Jalkio counts 47 visitors at the moment.
Ellison listens to the crickets, chirping in the meadow
neild cheers!
Adam says, "You know, 'west pillar' anagrams to 
'rapscallion'."
edharel asks, "Sell some?  what, are we getting the ads 
and flames of newsgroups on here?"
Bruce cries!
west_pillar exclaims, "The nominees for Best Individual 
Puzzle!"
Ganvira tries to listen to West but is spam.
Bruce exclaims, "You go to hell, Kyle!  You go to hell and 
you die!"
Adam says (to liza), "Except for a brief period in 1989."
Grocible says, "liza: it's to your credit"
west_pillar exclaims, "Setting the digital clock in Heist!"
devil asks (to Bruce), "Would you like me to damn him 
for you?"
mamster says (to neilb), "Three awards, I think."
DGlasser exclaims, "YEAH ADNREW!!!!"
ddyte says (to neilb), "Yeah, Bob won best NPC. Bad luck 
for the cow :-("
Dilbon says, "I solved that by trial and error"
west_pillar says, "Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die"
Dilbon says, "the first time, I mean"
Bruce exclaims, "Bad luck for the Devil!  No sympathy for 
the Devil!"
west_pillar exclaims, "The language puzzle in The Edifice!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY SPATCH!!!!!!"
devil says, "Poor me."
Jalkio exclaims, "Yay, Andy,!"
Ender chants, "Phone Booth! Phone Booth!"
mamster exclaims (to Bruce), "No rest for the wicket!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!"
neild exclaims, "Yay unintelligible language!"
lpsmith grins.
liza says, "Whoop, I say. Whoop."
Spatch exclaims, "It's the best individual puzzle nominee 
because it was the ONLY PUZZLE! RAR!"
west_pillar exclaims, "Defeating the Kunkel in Sins 
Against Mimesis!"
Ender says, "Yay gfdesbig ziblmeys!""
neilb says, "I was disappointed that the Mad Bomber 
wasn't nominated for best NPC."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BRUCE!!!!!"
Paul asks, "What about the langauge puzzles in Symetry?"
west_pillar says, "Building the sand castle in Sunset Over 
Savannah!""
Kunkel says, "I'm offended by this award!"
Jalkio exclaims (to paul), "Quite!"
Bruce eats the Kunkel.
west_pillar apologizes for forgetting one ! mark
west_pillar rocks back and forth in excitement
west_pillar opens an envelope
DGlasser says (to neild), "Neil G is here."
DGlasser sits on the edge of his seat.
west_pillar stares at a tax form and puts it back in the 
envelope
mamster exclaims, "THEY SOLD ME THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT 
I ONLY NEEDED THE EDGE!"
west_pillar open a different envelope
Ender sits on the edge of his razor blade.
Bruce cheers proactively for lpsmith.
west_pillar says, "The winner is..."
mamster says (to neild), "Out gathering voom, of course."
SadieHawkins plays a riff from, "Incompetent Pie Boy."
neild votes for The Edge for most annoying Guitarist.
west_pillar says, "Da da da da! The language puzzle"
Adam exclaims (to lp), "Give your acceptance speech in 
Strangerese!"
Spatch exclaims, "COMMA SPLICE!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY!!!!!"
Bruce cheers again.
Spatch exclaims, "YAY EDIFICE!!!"
JasonMel yeehaws.
jaysmith cheers!
lpsmith grins hugely.
ddyte draws a picture of someone cheering for the 
language puzzle.
liza exclaims, "LPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPPLPLPP!"
Paul salutes Lucian
IF exclaims, "Congratulations!"
west_pillar falls over with excitement.
markm exclaims, "L!P! L!P! L!P!"
Bruce exclaims, "Ix-nay on-ay everroot-Fay!"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual Puzzle trophy 
to lpsmith.
Ellison exclaims, "wtg!"
Ganvira shouts GoLP!!!!!
DGlasser says, "You know, any game that makes a 
vegetarian want to kill a Beast is good."
mamster says (to lpsmith), "I made you this 
marshmallow sculpture."
lpsmith alsens the trophy.
Spatch holds up a large sign with an L on it. Then he 
holds up one that says P.  Over and over.
DGlasser says, "Or not, good, but at least well done."
lpsmith steps up to the podium.
Bruce says, "My beast was kind of medium-rare."
Ellison asks (to Spatch), "wow, you were just prepared for 
everybody, huh?"
RedoFromStart jumps on spot, fruitlessly
Theif_from_Dungeon takes the trophies from the 
adventurer's sack.
mamster says (to neilb), "Watch me."
mamster emotes.
Bruce tears liza's eyes.
Ellison asks, "okay, who blew spice into liza's eyes?"
DGlasser sits back on the center of the seat.
lpsmith exclaims, "Uh, thanks everyone!"
neilb asks, "what ? was that it?"
neild exclaims (to lp), "More speech!"
mamster says (to Ellison), "The spice girls, of course."
liza cheers lpsmith wildly.
lpsmith exclaims, "Oh, and one more thing!"
DGlasser says (to neilb), ":emotes."
Bruce cheers!  He loves Lucian!
Spatch exclaims, "The Beef-A-Roni must flow!"
Paul says, "He's just learning our language."
ddyte says, "So much for command of language."
Gunther wonders why Tempest didn't even show up in 
this section...
Ellison says (to mamster), "hehe"
DGlasser says, "alanasen takramul."
lpsmith says, "As thanks for this lovely prize, I've given 
you all a present."
DGlasser says, "ne rema fe"
devil says, "I haven't finished that puzzle yet."
lpsmith says, "You'll find it in incoming/if-archive."
Taj exclaims, "Rakasha a ben selme!"
lpsmith grins.
Ellison just noticed that both neilb and neild are here...
liza yells, "Dear lord, Lucian, PUT THAT AWAY!"
neilb says, "this would have been a lot cheaper on a 
Saturday, you know..."
west_pillar shakes lpsmith's hand, somehow
lpsmith exclaims, "No more infinite loops!"
Paul whines "I want to know NOW!"
Ganvira asks, "infinite loops??"
eileen goes up to the podium
Jstn says, "yea, I think my Latin course just came"
Adam exclaims, "They're been replaced with froot loops!"
neilb says, "people tell me that all the time"
Adam says, "They've"
Jalkio exclaims, "The infinite loop should have been 
nominated in the best use of medium!"
TikiBoy places Paul on the Golden egg checker thingie, 
through which he falls.
lpsmith exclaims, "It's nothing spectacular, but I've 
finally finished Release 2.  So if you haven't played it yet, 
you can play the fumigated version.  Thanks!"
ddyte collects his present.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LP!!!!!!"
Ellison says, "whee!  where are the ooompaloompas"
Grocible feels he should take this moment to thank one of 
the Bruces for crediting him as being the original poster 
of the mimesis plant joke.
lpsmith steps down.
Grocible exclaims, "I'm immortalized!"
Spatch is immoralized!
Paul whips out a gobstopper, and starts to chew
TikiBoy is mortified.
mamster is paralyzed by your peril eyes!
liza says something immoral.
liza exclaims (to mamster), "HA!"
neilb tests the coommands. ignore him and his bad 
spelling.
mamster says (to liza), "You're welcome."
eileen exclaims, "And now, presenting the award for Best 
NPCs, we have last year's winner... Evan, from Kissing the 
Buddha's Feet!!"
Spatch says, "There's no way of really knoowing which 
direction we are gooing"
DGlasser asks (to neild), "What are the files by you in 
incoming?"
markm says (to zarf), "Was that pillar costume stuffy? :-)"
DGlasser cheers for LEON and EVAN!!!!!
neild asks (to DGlasser), "New versions of FrenFive?"
Bruce stuffs the pillar costume.
DGlasser exclaims, "Everyone, get Small World Two.  Much 
better than one.  It is great!"
Jalkio waves a depressing dirty rag that states "Rybread 
Rules" in barely readable dirt-like ink.
Evan exclaims, "Hello, everyone!"
neild says, "ASK EVAN ABOUT AWARD."
mamster says (to Jalkio), "That rocks."
RedoFromStart is looking for his camera
leonlin says to Evan, "I created you!"  to which Evan 
responds, "No one user created me..."
ddyte says (to neilb), "Yeah. I got hosed."
Evan says, "NPCs are a very important part of IF."
neilb says, "this client is so naff"
devil exclaims (to Evan), "Hey, Evan!"
lpsmith runs a 'tron' on Evan, which shuts him down.
HairBrain moos
neild says (to ddyte), "Your day will come..."
Ellison exclaims, "haha!"
Evan exclaims, "If it weren't for NPCs, we'd all be 
exhibiting signs of impending mental collapse with no one 
else to talk with!"
Ganvira asks, "What's the file for wcsmall world?"
Evan says, "Anyway..."
Evan says, "The nominees for Best NPCs are..."
Evan exclaims, "Everybody Loves a Parade, by Cody 
Sandifer!"
devil says, "The Small World files are for release 2, which 
I'll announce in a little bit."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!!"
devil exclaims, "Parade rocks!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY!!!!"
Evan exclaims, "Interstate Zero, by Adam Cadre!"
neilb asks, "did IF and zarf leave together then?"
liza exclaims, "WOO!"
mamster exclaims, "Everybody Loves Everybody Loves a 
Parade!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY Adam!"
Evan exclaims, "She's Got a Thing For a Spring, by Bren 
vanFossen!"
markm claps!
Spatch exclaims, "Everybody Loves Raymond Who Loves 
A Parade!"
neild cheers a bit more.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY cool nature photo guy!"
Evan says, "Oops, that's Brent vanFossen."
TikiBoy says (to neilb), "I think Zarf is too old for IF.  ;-)"
zarf claps belatedly (was lagged)
Ellison exclaims, "Everybody's got a thing for She's Got A 
Thing!"
neilb says, "I wish I could understand what's going on..."
DGlasser says (to evan), "Just do what I do, call him cool 
nature photo guy."
Evan exclaims, "The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm and Drang by 
Neil deMause!"
Ender says, "Bran Van Fossen is Drinking in L.A."
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo heroes and villains!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEILD!!!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YEEEHAW!"
neild exclaims, "YAY, ME!!!!!! WHO-HOO!!!!"
liza exclaims, "NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEILLLLLLL!"
Evan exclaims, "And Zero Sum Game by Cody Sandifer!"
devil claps frenetically for Fren5.
neild says, "Cody. Yeah."
ct exclaims, "FUNKY FIVE! Yay!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY CODY AGAIN!!! WOO-HOOO!!!! 
CODY RULES!!!!! YAY!!!!"
mamster exclaims, "They're all, like, good and stuff!"
DGlasser exclaims, "CODY! CODY! CODY!"
Spatch exclaims, "I can't make up my mind!"
Evan says, "And the winner is..."
ddyte says (to mamster), "Nah, they all suck."
DGlasser is a die-hard cody fan.
neild implodes.
Bruce makes up spatch's mind.
Evan exclaims, "The Frenetic Five vs. Sturm und Drang by 
Neil deMause!"
Bruce cheers.
neild exclaims, "Gak!"
Bruce claps.
Evan applauds
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEILD!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!!"
Grocible exclaims, "woohoo!"
devil exclaims, "WHOOOOOOOO!"
lpsmith's left half explodes, but he's all right.
TikiBoy exclaims, "YAY NEIL!!!!!!!!"
edharel says, "BAh."
mamster says, "I voted fer that."
neild is baffled.
ct cheers wildly!! yay for the famous five!
Grocible exclaims, "rock on neild!"
Paul claps frenetically
Atomic congratulates Neil
markm NEIL! EIL! NEIL! NEIL!
Jalkio exclaims (to neild), "Congrats!"
Stu042 exclaims, "go neil!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!"
devil congratulates Neil.
Evan exclaims, "Congratulations, Neil!"
zarf exclaims, "Heil Neil!"
neild goes up to the podium.
TikiBoy shoots lpsmith's remaining half for that horrible 
pun.
Adam exclaims, "So Leon Lin wins two years straight!"
eileen gives Best NPCs trophy to neild.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NEIL!!!!!!!"
neilb says, "what a great name that chap's got."
Atomic waves at Neil
mamster exclaims, "Yay, Leon!"
neild says, "Really, you shouldn't be talking to me!  You 
should be talking to the welfare recipients..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Spoooooooooooooon!"
Ender says, "As people clap, small objects pop up all 
over..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Not in the face!  Not in the face!"
markm cheers wildly.
neild says, "I really didn't prepare for this. Just like for 
releasing the game in the first place..."
Ganvira is going to do the infocom fantasy collection first.
neild says, "I guess I'd just like to thank the Frenetic Five, 
for being such interesting characters. And for forcing me 
to release this game despite my utter lack of coding 
skills."
lpsmith recants.
devil asks, "Cody skills?"
markm cheers!
neild looks to the sky. "This one's for you, Pastiche!
neild gets down from the podium.
neilb asks, "if it's only five o'clock over in the US... why 
aren't you all working?"
zarf applauds
neild gets down and gets funky.
lpsmith claps some more.
Jalkio gets lost in New York.
markm says (to neilb), "I'm *supposed* to be working..."
Dilbon says, "Work is a four letter word."
devil says, "I'm doing the devil's work."
Paul says, "Define 'working'. I'm at my job."
Grocible is at werk, but isn't werking. I'm using "lunch 
break" as an excuse.
neild says, "Damn. Now I need to change my T-shirt..."
TikiBoy says, "This awards thing is actually making my 
work very unproductive."
zarf says, "Offer me a job, and I'll work."
lpsmith exclaims, "I'm working, and so is my wife!"
Bruce does the devil's work.
Hordes of tiny donuts suddenly invade the auditorium, 
freed from their jail! They run around screaming wildly 
for a moment or two, then disappear as mysteriously as 
they arrived.
ddyte says (to neild), "Now you can get rid of that t-
shirt."
mamster asks (to lpsmith), "What is that, anyway?"
edharel dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Okay. So  without further 
ado..."
liza says (to Spatch), "Hold me closer, tiny donut."
Atomic says, "I had to come to the computer labs in the 
middle of the night to get here... :)"
mamster got XYZZY t-shirt.
lpsmith says (to mamster), "Life of Brian."
DGlasser says (to mamster), "Life of brian,"
mamster says (to lpsmith), "Ah."
Ganvira finished classes at 11:00.
Adam exclaims, "No!  More ado!  People are crying out for 
ado!"
Grocible says, "I'm Brian of Nazareth..."
Atomic says, "Well, 9pm anyway... :)"
devil says, "I finished classes in 1994."
NamelessAdventurer says, "To present the award for Best 
Puzzles..."
Spatch says (to liza), "count the head lice on the highway."
mamster dropped RNA polymerase.
mamster dropped XYZZY t-shirt.
NamelessAdventurer says, "Someone else you all know 
and love..."
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST! HEIST! HEIST!"
edharel asks, "Much ado about nothing?"
NamelessAdventurer says, "From the award-winning So 
Far..."
Paul is puzzled. Lots.
Bruce got XYZZY t-shirt.
DGlasser exclaims, "It's Zarf!!!!!!!!"
ct says (to Atomic), "I was thinking edinburgh's not that 
far off my latitude..."
Spatch exclaims, "THE SHADOWS!"
devil exclaims, "Zarf! Zarf! Zarf!"
liza exclaims, "THE BIG ANIMAL THING!"
mamster says, ">ENTER SHADOW"
edharel asks, "When did Babylon 5 come into it?"
DGlasser exclaims, "PUZZLES!!! PUZZLES!!"
Adam exclaims, "Rito!  As played by Leonardo di Caprio!"
ragged_boy has arrived.
ct says (to mamster), "(You must be thinking of some 
other game)"
DGlasser hates games without puzzles, but hates games 
with puzzles that he can't solve.
Grocible exclaims, "ew! please! not dicaprio!"
ragged_boy looks around
ddyte asks (to boy), "Hey how'd you get out of there?"
TikiBoy asks (to Dglasser), "Picky, ain't ya?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Puzzles nominees to 
ragged_boy.
mamster pours himself a crunchy bowl of DiCapri-O's.
Spatch throws breadfruit at the ragged boy!
Ellison orders a decaprichino.
neild bangs on pipes!
ragged_boy blinks in the bright light.
mamster hums that tune from Close Encounters.
Dilbon is puzzled.
lpsmith gives ragged_boy a pipe.
DGlasser says, "I want to hear happy news.  About 
Leonardo DiCaprio."
liza gives small pipe to neild.
ragged_boy smiles hesitantly at everyone.
neild goes back on the pipe.
Jemima gives a daisy chain to ragged boy.
mamster exclaims (to DGlasser), "hee hee!"
Jalkio exclaims (to ragged_boy), "Hello Rybread, it must 
be you!"
Bruce bangs on Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ender says (to DGlasser), "He's dead. Be happy."
DGlasser hits the daisy chain key on his mac.
TikiBoy says (to DGlasser), "He came out of the closet.  
Ha!!  Yeah, right."
neild wonders how this is going to work.
ragged_boy holds up the list of Best Puzzles nominees
liza bangs Leonard DiCaprio. "Boo-yah!"
Spatch don't wanna work, he just wanna bang on de 
drum all day.
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Babel   
(Ian Finley)
DGlasser says, "(Actually, that wasn't me.  That was a 10-
year-old Philadelphia girl.)"
edharel asks, "hmm, how do you do an action?"
mamster says (to edharel), ":cries."
Dilbon actions.
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: 
Everybody Loves a Parade   (Cody Sandifer)
neilb asks, "c'mon, tell us... what is a zarf?"
liza says (to mamster), "You misspelled ':cries!'. Hope that 
helps."
lpsmith cheers some more.
Atomic cheers wildly for Babel (which he gave a 10)
mamster says (to liza), "Oops."
neild exclaims, "Yay Cody!!!!"
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Heist   
(Andy Phillips)
mamster exclaims, "Codex Leicester!"
neild asks (to Evan), "You want to change back to Leon 
now?"
Spatch says, "This is a first! The presenter is GIVING the 
cue cards to the AUDIENCE."
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST! BRAVO!"
devil exclaims, "Heist! Heist! Heist!"
Adam exclaims, "YAY, HEIST, AND, ANDY!"
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: The 
Edifice   (Lucian Smith)
liza says, "WOOOOOOO."
Atomic decides he should play Everybody loves a 
parade...
Taj throws spear!
Ender says (to ragged_boy), "I'm not reading that. No, not 
that either."
neild exclaims, "Yay LP!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Edificio DiCaprio!"
edharel Hmm, are the Shadows related to the grues?
ragged_boy holds up a scrap of paper which says: Zero 
Sum Game   (Cody Sandifer)
ct exclaims, "Eddy! Eddy! Ed! Ed! Ed!"
Gunther asks, "Ah my love. Can you forgive me?"
neild asks, "Leonardo Orgasmo? What?"
lpsmith realizes he's cheering his own game, but what the 
heck.  He goes back to cheering Zero.
neild exclaims, "Yay Cody yet again!"
ragged_boy opens an envelope
Spatch says, "Edificssorshands."
Atomic dies of suspense
> PUSH EDIFICE
ragged_boy smiles secretively
Edifice wrecks!
Ellison kills the silent boy...
liza wonders when the edifice and the west pillar are 
going to get it on.
The Edifice does not yield to your efforts.
Atomic regenerates himself with a puff of smoke... :)
Ender exclaims (to liza), "We'll have none of that!"
edharel says, "I think I liked the newsgroups better... not 
so crowded and noisy :)"
Adam turns ragged_boy in to Child Protective Services.
ragged_boy pulls out a brush and draws a small picture 
of an edifice.
markm cheers wildly!
Grocible asks, "liza: you *sure* you've never been a 
teenage boy before?"
Bruce cheers wildly!
Spatch exclaims, "YAAAAAY!"
neild exclaims, "Yay!"
Taj whoops wildly!
leonlin cheers!
jaysmith cheers!
ct says, "Eddy Eddy Eddy Ed Ed Ed"
mamster exclaims, "EDIFICE!"
Atomic says, "Congrats!""
liza exclaims, "YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY!"
Ellison exclaims, "yeah, Cody won!!!"
Stu042 stomps his feet and cheers!
ct exclaims, "Yay!"
Paul gives Lucian a thumbs up. No, make that two 
thumbs up!
mamster exclaims, "More speech!"
ragged_boy gives the picture to lpsmith
devil claps!
Jalkio claps muttering something about Heist.
lpsmith grins.
Bruce gives Lucian Three Thumbs Up.
Grocible claps vigorously and with approval
markm exclaims, "L!P!L!P!L!P!L!P!"
Zarf passes the mantle of Xyzzy king to LP.
Ellison asks, "the edifice is just an abstract representation 
of the tree sloth, right?"
liza throws an edifice at Jalkio.
Taj throws spear at Jalkio!
Atomic wishes he could write a game like The Edifice... :(
leonlin gives Lucian two opposable thumbs up!
TikiBoy says (to mamster), "The graveyard is out there, 
and the aliens are up there, but I'll be safe in there."
mamster giggles.
markm gives LP all his thumbs.
edharel wishes he had the time to finishhh a game :/
lpsmith takes the podium.
RedoFromStart looks at his watch: 22:59... the ceremony 
will begin soon.
Jalkio says (to liza), "But Edifice already won the 
individual category... There were many cool puzzles in 
heist."
mamster says (to Jalkio), "Not to mention Punkirita."
lpsmith takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.
DGlasser asks, "Who won puzzles?"
lpsmith unfolds it.
Paul considers whether he should start charging for 
straight lines.
edharel says, "mef, this is it."
lpsmith says, "Uh, this isn't an acceptance speech, so don't 
worry."
mamster wins a zloty, finds the perfect liver, and settles 
for that.
Bruce worries.
liza exclaims (to lpsmith), "Your speech is unacceptable!"
liza says, "Crap."
lpsmith says, "It is, however, a rough draft of an article 
I'm attempting to write for XYZZYnews."
Bruce exclaims, "Takramul!"
Bruce asks, "Grignr?"
Adam exclaims (to Bruce), "Topramen!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY LUCIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "PL!PL!PL!PL!PL!PL!"
Ender exclaims (to Bruce), "Grignr the Ecordian!"
Ender plays the Ecordian.
lpsmith grins.
Bruce squeezes the Ecordian.
eileen approaches the podium
DGlasser says, "But then again, edifice was great."
lpsmith steps down.
Taj injects Atomic with coffee.
liza asks, "Umberto Ecordian?"
neild says (to Dilbon), "This is so over."
Atomic jumps up, wide-eyed and buzzing gently
Ender says (to liza), "Careful, you might inspire Graham."
Spatch exclaims, "let's go out to the lobby, let's go out to 
the lobby, let's go out to the lobby, and have ourselves a 
snack!"
neild says (to Dilbon), "This is so five minutes ago."
neilb says, "tikiboy, I don't know how to whisper, but 
probably. I am he."
liza says, "Okay, next award - Best Legs."
Dilbon says, "Happy endings make me cry."
Atomic thanks Taj
eileen exclaims, "Here to present the award for Best 
Setting is least, oops, last year's winner... the devil from 
Small World!"
mamster exclaims (to liza), "I nominate Abe Vigoda!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY ANDREW!!!!!"
Taj exclaims, "Mercy! Mercy!"
Spatch exclaims (to mamster), "my vote's for walter 
matthau!"
devil takes nominees list.
DGlasser exclaims, "SETTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIINNNGG!"
Taj says, "The game, not the request."
mamster says (to Spatch), "The gams on that feller are 
breathtaking."
neild exclaims, "Yeahhhhhhhhh, Beelzebub!"
inky stomps feet.
Paul applauds
devil tries to get everyone to sign it...whoops, wrong 
game.
ct exclaims, "Devil! Make us proud!"
Ellison says, "I nominate the table setting from 'space'"
inky says, "sa-tan sa-tan sa-tan"
Spatch asks, "Beelzebub, do you have a devil put aside for 
me?"
devil says (to Spatch), "A minor one."
ddyte asks (to Devil), "Just gimme this one. You can take 
my soul, ok?"
liza says (to mamster), "Ooh, varicose veins.  He'll lose 
points for that."
inky asks (to devil), "Do you ever dance with yourself in 
the pale moonlight?"
devil says, "The nominees..."
Bruce hopes everyone remembers the Scrapple Factory.
DorianX has arrived.
mamster says (to liza), "The closer the better, I say."
DGlasser is the devil.  in Damn Yankees, at least.
Ender says (to devil), "Time... is on my side. Yes it is..."
devil says, "...for best setting in an IF game..."
ddyte says (to Bruce), "You are the man :-)"
edharel asks, "devil, you're not wearing a blue dress, are 
you?"
Sargent says, "Bleah. I remember the factory."
devil says, "...are..."
neild has sympathy for the presenter.
Grocible says, "mmmm scrapple"
inky asks (to Bruce), "that's like "Remember the Alamo", 
right?"
liza exclaims (to neild), "Hee!"
Bruce chews on a head-sized chunk of Scrapple.
Sargent asks (to Bruce), "54-40 or Scrapple?"
mamster chews on head cheese.
devil says, "...A Bear's Night Out   (David Dyte)..."
DGlasser says, "and just a high school production."
SadieHawkins plays a quick medley of Stryper.
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay!"
Ghogg exclaims, "Bear! Bear! Bear!"
mamster exclaims, "DAVEEED!"
Dilbon exclaims, "Beer! Beer!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BEAAAAAR! YAY DAVID!!!!!!!!"
Ender chews on the head from Grip.
devil says, "...Interstate Zero   (Adam Cadre)..."
The San Burro Chamber of Commerce cheers!
edharel asks, "Someone brought beer?"
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay!"
Atomic remembers the bears home fondly
DGlasser exclaims, "AAAAAAAADAM!!!!!!"
devil says, "...Mercy   (Chris Klimas)..."
mamster says, "TRACEEE."
mamster says, "MERCEEE."
neild exclaims, "Yay David and Adam! And Chris!"
Ellison exclaims, "if David wins, there's a huge bash at his 
house after the ceremony!"
Dilbon asks, "So do we get beer after this?"
ddyte says, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Cough, 
splutter, die."
devil says, "...She's Got a Thing For a Spring   (Brent 
vanFossen)..."
DGlasser exclaims, "MERCY! MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!"
edharel says, "Oh mercy"
leonlin applauds!
lpsmith hopes people don't think he's trying to turn the 
awards into a personal grandstand, and realize that he's 
just trying to give back to the IF community.  But he'll 
shut up now, and cheer.
markm claps.
Adam exclaims, "Whee!  Non-comp games r001!"
neild bashes David's house.
lpsmith cheers wildly!
Sargent says, "applauds."
ddyte says, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Swim."
devil says, "...Sins Against Mimesis   (Adam Thornton)..."
Sargent says, "applauds."
leonlin applauds!
Paul cheers
Spatch exclaims, "SCRAPPLE! SCRAPPLE!"
markm claps.
lpsmith cheers!
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!! Yeah! Awright! Yay! Go Stiffy 
Makane!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BRUCE!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "TIMING! TIMING!"
Dilbon says, "cheer"
DorianX says, "tide"
neilb sings a little ditty
mamster exclaims, "All-temperature Cheer!"
Ghogg eats the potted plant.
lpsmith exclaims, "Wheeee!"
ddyte says, "Stiffy Makane meets Tracy Valencia..."
devil says, "...And the winner is..."
ct exclaims, "Compass Rose floor for Best Setting!!"
Dilbon plants the pot plant in the plant pot.
edharel asks, "are we giving awards or doing laundry?"
Ellison *BUFO*s in excitement
devil asks, "Is everybody listening?!?"
Black says, and after that whole long relationship of you 
and me we won't know who it is in terms of gender.
Bruce exclaims (to Ellison), "Don't Bufo ME!"
Atomic says, "helpo commands"
Grocible asks, "someone dissing hamsters?"
Grocible says, "harrumph"
devil exclaims, "A Bear's Night Out   (David Dyte)!!!!!!!!"
edharel exclaims, "no, not the psychologist!"
Dilbon says, "Helpo does sound like a Marx brother."
Sargent says, "applauds loudly."
lpsmith cheers!
Ender exclaims, "Die Gottercocktailpartie!"
markm cheers wildly!
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY DAVID!!!!!!!!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Deeeedyte!"
neild exclaims, "Who-hoo!!!!!!!!"
Ellison exclaims, "she'll have me talking about my mother 
in no time!"
ct exclaims, "Davy!!!"
jaysmith cheers for Ddyte!
Sargent says (to Grocible), "No, dissing mamsters."
Ghogg says, "WOOwooWOOwooWOOwooo"
leonlin cheers!
unicorn applauds loudly!
Bruce cheers!
Adam exclaims, "Yay, suburbia!"
Paul asks, "Why do you feel Eeeagh?"
Stu042 exclaims, "yay mooses!"
lpsmith exclaims, 
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
liza asks (to neild), "Why is it that you say 'Eeeagh! 
Eliza!'?"
neild exclaims, "YAY DAVID'S HOUSE!!!!!!!"
mamster says (to Sargent), "Pinhead."
neilb says, "says sorry... that should be mamsters..."
ct exclaims, "Love that funky teddy-bear!"
Sargent exclaims, "Let's hear it for the bear!"
edharel asks, "Does it bother you that Helpo sounds like a 
Marx Brother?"
markm exclaims, "GO DD!"
Atomic says, "congratulations!""
ddyte goes to the podium in shock.
devil cheers for the darn bear!
Paul claps for David
jaysmith exclaims, "Ddyte!  Ddyte!  Ddyte!  Ddyte!  Ddyte!"
DGlasser says, "Makes a similar comment that neilb 
earlier made, about names."
Ellison exclaims (to ddyte), "clean your pipes now ya 
lousy bastard!"
Dilbon asks, "So where's the beer?"
Grocible says, "MamsterWorld"
Bruce exclaims, "D-DYTE!  D-DYTE!"
edharel says, "Let us talk more about that funky teddy-
bear"
Sargent pushes ddyte towards the stage.
Torbjorn says (to ddyte), "Now, hand over that soul you 
promised the nice Mr Devil."
Atomic turns himself into an IF-mud expert...
ddyte says, "Um, well, I'd just like to say what a sad day 
it is that a suburban house can win best setting."
devil gives Best Setting trophy to ddyte.
Sargent exclaims, "We love you, suburban house!"
neild exclaims, "YAY REALISM!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY HE OF THE IFHOS!"
Elroy T. Funbun, CEO of Taco Junta, cries!
neilb asks, "what did I say about names?"
Paul exclaims, "But it was such a NICE house!"
neild says, "Good tea. Nice house."
liza says, "http://www.retina.net/~ddyte, btw."
ddyte hands Dilbon a beer... "That's Foster's...  Australian 
for piss that we sell to the Americans..."
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay!  Setting things in your own 
house!"
DGlasser says (to neilb), "About how the winner had a 
nice one."
mamster screams (at ddyte), "VING RHAMES DESERVED 
THAT AWARD, YOU BASTARD!"
ct says, "But Own House settings did so well in Comp97..."
devil leads ddyte to the podium and then chains him 
there.
ddyte says, "And I'd like to thank my real estate agent 
for letting me the house so I could write the game. 
Thanks all."
ddyte says, "Ok, now I'm off to buy a plaque for the 
door."
devil releases the chains. "Unfortunately, he's not for me."
Spatch exclaims, "SEE? A "house" setting CAN be good IF!"
ct says, "Ah, ddyte has sold soul to real estate agent 
already."
devil buys everyone's souls.
lpsmith bids for ddyte's soul.
Ender asks (to devil), "Can I buy a vowel?"
markm sold his previously.
Paul says, "I have no soul. I'm a critic."
Ender exclaims, "Grignr!"
devil says, "devil sells them back for outrageously 
inflated prices."
DGlasser buys his soul back for 10% interest.
ddyte says, "I bet it ends up being traded for Alf pogs..."
eileen approaches the podium
devil gives Sargent his soul for free.
TikiBoy exclaims (to ddyte), "Awww, I miss Alf!!"
ct mortgaged his soul ages ago. monopoly debts 'n' all 
that.
DGlasser exclaims, "WRITE A NEW GAME!!!!!"
Jalkio asks (to ddyte), "Plaque with the text: "Here lives 
the creator of the winning game in "The best setting" 
category in the annual XYZZY awards 1998"?"
Ellison exclaims (to ddyte), "in your house again!"
eileen exclaims, "And now to present the award for Best 
Story, I give you once more... the Nameless Adventurer!!!"
ddyte says (to Jalkio), "No, better. 3/16 Golflink Avenue. 
Winner, Best Setting in an IF Game, 1997."
Sargent says (to devil), "no."
Dilbon asks, "Is this the 1998 award ceremony or the 
1997 award ceremony?"
DGlasser boos the nameless guy.
devil says (to eileen), "Oops. Can I make an 
announcement first? I forgot something."
markm says (to ddyte), "Now you have to update your 
game again. :-)"
NamelessAdventurer asks (to devil), "What now?"
Spatch heckles rather poorly. "Hey, Nameless Adventurer! 
.... get a name, you nameless freak!"
eileen says, ""OK, go for it, devil."
ddyte says (to markm), "No."
edharel asks, "devil, been playing Amnesia?"
Adam exclaims (to Spatch), "Hee hee!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (to Spatch), "Can I have 
one of yours? You got too many!"
the Nike commercial plays on the tv...  "The XYZZY awards 
this year won't be televised..."  (fade out)
DGlasser exclaims, "LISTEN TO THE DEVIL's 
ANNOUNCEMENT!"
Jalkio shouts: "Symetry for Best Story!".
DGlasser exclaims, "IT IS REALLY COOL!"
devil says, "Just to let you all know:"
Spatch says (to namelessadventurer), "I hereby dub thee 
Sir Shabadoo of Bad Breakdance Movies."
edharel says, "The devil, stealing.  What low morals."
ct exclaims (to Jalkio), "Cask rox!"
devil exclaims, "Small World Version 2 is now out!!!!!!!"
DGlasser betatested it, and it is great.
inky exclaims, "Now, smaller than ever before!"
mamster exclaims (to Spatch), "Beat Street rules!"
neild cheers the shameless plug.
Bruce exclaims, "Mimesis Version Three is Available!  
Hide Your Children!"
ct adds SW2 to the end of his 'must-play-sometime' list.
NamelessAdventurer says, "So the nominees for--"
DGlasser puts it on the beginning of ct's list.
NamelessAdventurer peers at the cue card.
NamelessAdventurer says, "...for Best Story are:"
DGlasser says, "And Babel 2 too.  Play that one also."
Jalkio peers at his grue card.
Spatch says, "aah. simpsons refs. better than south park 
refs."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Babel, by Ian Finley!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BABEL!!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!!!"
DorianX cheers
Atomic cheers for Babel!
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Glowgrass, Nate Cull, 
executive producer!"
markm applauds.
Grocible babbles
DGlasser hasn't played Babel v1 though.
edharel applauds, even though he hasn't played more 
then a little bit of babel
Spatch exclaims, "that's the spirit!"
lpsmith babels about Glowgrass.
Atomic thinks that Babel is the best IF game he's played
ddyte exclaims, "Yay SF games!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY NATE!!!! NATE!!!!!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "I-0, written and directed 
by Adam Cadre!!!"
mamster exclaims, "Glowgrass ruled!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY ADAM!!!!!!"
edharel applauds, and he has played I-0
ddyte exclaims, "Nekkid IF! Yeah! Awright!"
Grocible exclaims, "zarf!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Madame L'Estrange and 
the Troubled Spirit, by Ian Ball and Marcus Young!"
Spatch says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About 
Glowgrass Over Savannah's Night Out."
markm cheers.
Den enthuses about Glowgrass, but can't pronounce it 
properly...
ddyte exclaims, "Australian IF!!!!!!!!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "...and Mercy, a Chris 
Klimas production!"
DGlasser makes a mental note to remind Nate to write 
Hero 2.
mamster says (to Den), "I think it's GLAU-GROSS."
Sargent says, "MER-cy. MER-cy."
ddyte exclaims, "Sick twisted IF! Yeah!"
edharel applauds, even though he never even 
downloaded Mme L'etc.
DorianX says, "Foster's.... Australian for Beer,"
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Babel, by Ian Finley!"
Ender says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About 
Glowgrass Over Savannah's Night Out and the Troubled 
Spirit"
Sargent exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
mamster exclaims, "Babool!"
ddyte exclaims, "Yay!"
Bruce whoo-hoos.
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY MERCY!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!"
Ghogg exclaims, "Whee!"
neild exclaims, "Babelfish!"
Grocible claps
DorianX cheers, applauds, claps, etc
Atomic applauds
ct asks (to DorianX), "Fosters, beer?"
Spatch says, "She's Got A Thing for Babbling About 
Glowgrass Over Savannah's"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!!!"
Atomic goes wild
Paul cheers wildly!
Adam exclaims, "'Babe' won?  Yay, talking pig!"
mamster says (to Den), "Wow, you are so right."
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IAN!!!! YAY IAN!!!!!"
Taj exclaims, "Yay flashbacks!"
Spatch says, "Night Out and the Troubled Spirit versus the 
Frenetic Five"
DorianX says (to ct), "Commercial"
ddyte says, "Babel, it's Australian for Best Story."
DGlasser exclaims, "Babel! Babel! Babel!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Ian Finley couldn't be here 
tonight,..."
inky says, "my money's on pastiche."
Ellison /nukes all the ops and takes over the channel...
Grocible says, "Ian Finley, a man whose initials spell IF"
DGlasser says, "though he was"
Dilbon asks, "What does a babel fish taste like?"
edharel He, it's only day here
DGlasser says, "Come play the newest version of that one 
too."
Atomic says, "You're not supposed to eat babel fish - you 
put them in your ear..."
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "...so we'll be giving this 
trophy instead to Kilivor, for being lost!"
edharel asks, "Kil, let me guess... in NY?"
markm says, "bye ghogg."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Okay, I'm done."
DorianX says (to ct), "ABNO"
Dilbon says (to atomic), "Then it must taste like earwax."
Jalkio says, "Somebody update the green scoreboard."
liza exclaims (to Kilivor), "Yay!"
neild examines the tote board.
lpsmith realizes he's been standing for an hour, and sits 
down.
Grocible asks, "mamster: that'd be I-0, no?"
eileen approaches the podium again.
Spatch exclaims, "STIFFY MAKANE!"
eileen clears her throat.
neild clears the room.
DorianX applauds
Jalkio says, "Best surrealist game."
edharel I think the best use of medium of all would be 
Infocom's Nord & Burt
ddyte says, "Best implementation of the verb WAYLAY."
Ellison asks (to Jalkio), "hmmm, would that be Symetry?"
Spatch says, "Best Abuse Of The Z-Machine"
edharel says, "Or am I confusing it with Ernie and Bert"
Grocible thanks eileen for working so hard on these 
awards
Stu042 says, "best use of pointless logic puzzles"
Bruce asks, "Hey, is that it?"
mamster says (to Spatch), "That would be PUTPBAD."
Jalkio says (to ellison), "Surely."
Kilivor sits down
Sargent says, "Best game named 'Glowgrass.'"
Spatch exclaims (to mamster), "kickass!"
ddyte says (to Stu), "You win."
Stu042 exclaims, "yaaay!"
Ender exclaims (to Spatch), "Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!"
Grocible says, "longest gestation period? right now a two-
way race twixt Avalon and my game in progress, I 
suspect"
DGlasser says, "Best VR game."
Spatch says, "Best game, which has puzzles, and some 
great descriptions, which are good too."
eileen exclaims, "And now, presenting the award for Best 
Writing, we have a rep from last year's winning game... 
Tato from So Far!!!"
Ellison rambles on about how IF lacks something it had in 
the previous era...  "Where are our wine cellar mazes like 
in Deadline?..."
Tato bows grandly
Sargent asks, "Does he speak in iambic pentameter?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing nominees to 
Tato.
lpsmith asks (to Jemima), "You've tried this?"
Paul says, "Tato Jackson! The lesser-known brother."
mamster exclaims, "PICKUPDAWNMCGATNEY!!!!"
ct asks (to Tato), "Who are you??"
Tato says, "Attend you all! For on this paper scroll,"
Jalkio says, "There should be a category for best 'novel' or 
major length game."
Tato says, "I find the names of every nominee."
Grocible exclaims, "oooh! a prepared speech!"
Tato says, "I'll list them first, and then we shortly see,"
edharel asks, "Tato is that the scroll from Witness?"
Tato exclaims, "Of all, which one will rock and which will 
roll!"
mamster asks (to Jalkio), "Best Abuse of Contest Rules?"
Lone Ranger greets Tato. No, wait, Tonto.
Ellison says, "ah, yes, the Tato Junta boy..."
Spatch exclaims, "hoohoo! iambic pentameter!"
Den says 'Glowgrass' ten times quickly, then grins self-
impressed.
Bruce picks up Dawn McGatney!
ct exclaims, "He sounds like he was in Tempest!"
Bruce dies.
DorianX asks, "That was a boy?"
Spatch says, "DAwn McGatney."
neild exclaims, "Mr. Tato Head!"
edharel asks, "What about an award of efficiency?  Best 
game in X rooms or X many bytes?"
Tato says, "Ok, enough with the poetry -- I'm just an 
actor, you know."
Jemima says (to lpsmith), "yes.  :)"
Sargent says (to neild), "I wondered why he had three 
eyes."
Jalkio says (to mamster), "Well, those plus Heist, for 
example,"
Grocible says, "the Thespian's Confession"
Den says, "I always preferred dactylic hexameter 
anyway."
Spatch says (to den), "you would."
Tato says, "Whaddawe got here..."
edharel asks, "Paul, have you been messing about with 
the phone booth?"
Paul prefers pterodactylic hexameter.
mamster says (to Den), "I like spondaic duodecameter."
Spatch says (to paul), "you would."
Tato exclaims, "The nominees for Best Writing!"
liza runs away with 'Best Sequel/Parody/In-joke Game 
Not Available on GMD.
Den says, "you would."
Tato mugs for applause
Gunther says, "I like spontaneous explosion"
Jalkio exclaims, "Heist! Symetry!"
devil mugs Tato.
Spatch says (to liza), "you would."
ct gives applause to tato. Right in the eye.
Tato exclaims, "Babel   (Ian Finley)!"
DorianX cheers
Tato exclaims, "Interstate Zero   (Adam Cadre)!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY BABEL!!!!!!!!!!"
ddyte exclaims, "Wooo Babel!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "YAY ALL THESE GAMES!"
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!"
devil claps for Babel again.
Tato says, "Sunset Over Savannah   (Ivan Cockrum)!""
DGlasser exclaims, "IAN!!!!"
neild exclaims, "Yay! Adam!!!!!!"
Dilbon exclaims, "Babel Fish! Babel fish!"
Sargent says, "applauds."
Tato exclaims, "She's Got a Thing For a Spring   (Brent 
vanFossen)!"
Jalkio exclaims, "Hurrah Savannah!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY IVAN!!!!!!!!!"
Sargent says, "applauds."
Bruce feeds back.
edharel exclaims, "Babelonian, Babeloinian!"
Ender claps.
ct exclaims, "Springy!!"
Gunther exclaims, "Yay Brent!"
DGlasser exclaims, "YAY cool nature photo guy!!!!!!!"
Spatch exclaims, "Comp97!"
Spatch exclaims, "Comp97!"
Dilbon says, "Babelon 5"
ct says, "love that egg puzzle..."
Spatch starts a last-minute write-in campaign for Com97 
out of sheer randomness.
Tato says, "And The Space Under The Window by ..."
Tato tries to read the writing
Ender claps.
ddyte says, "Some guy."
Sargent says (to Tato), "Show-off."
Tato exclaims, "Some guy!"
Paul says, "cheers"
Jemima yells out loudly"  The Space Under The Window!  
Go, zarf!!! :)
mamster says, "The nominees for best game that ends 
with a carnal encounter with the author are:"
edharel says, "One of those andrews""
Sargent says, "applauds."
ddyte says (to mamster), "Well, my game ended in the 
same bed..."
Sargent whispers loudly to Grocible, "I bet he rigged it."
Bruce says, "Yeah.  The window breaks."
mamster says (to Gunther), "I did.  At the end, the 
window breaks."
inky asks (to mamster), "for that to be 'best', you have to 
have a cute author, don't you?"
Tato drags out the delay with perfect timing
Den asks, "Finished?"
ct says, "Space, space space"
Torbjorn asks (to Gunther), "You mean there was an 
ending?"
mamster says (to ddyte), "That's not the same thing."
The window did it.
Atomic exclaims, "I finished it with five more points than 
the maximum total!"
Ender exclaims (to mamster), "HEY! Spoiler warnings!"
Den asks, "Did anyone get the one lousy point?"
Tato says, "And the win..."
lpsmith gets back and cheers, belatedly.
Tato says, "ner..."
Ender says (to mamster), "So was that."
Tato says, "is..."
Gunther says, "Well, the *optimum* ending... if there is 
one... :-)"
neild exclaims, "Best Winer! CASK!"
mamster says (to Ender), "Good."
mamster exclaims (to neild), "CASK is the winer!"
liza puts her feet up on the chair, kicking mamster in the 
back of the head.
ddyte rofls.
edharel groans LOUDLY
Spatch says, "Somebody wind Tato back up!@"
Sargent exclaims, "Yes! It works flip-flip!"
Bruce exclaims, "Flip THIS!"
Adam laughs.
Tato exclaims, "Sunset Over Savannah!"
markm cheers wildly!
Ender exclaims (to spatch), "flip-FLOP, dummy!"
liza flips mamster off.
Sargent says, "applauds loudly."
neild exclaims, "Yay!!!!!"
Ellison cheers
inky exclaims, "yay!"
unicorn applauds
Paul cheers for Sunset!
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yay Ivan!!!!"
Jalkio says (to mamster), "No, symtry winns in agony in 
you pain."
Jemima cheers loudly!
Spatch exclaims (to ender), "Quit flappin yer lip!"
devil says, "At least he doesn't have to give the award to 
himself."
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!! Yay! Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!"
Tato claps.
Stu042 exclaims, "sunset! yay!"
lpsmith cheers!
mamster exclaims, "Ivanovich!"
Stu042 exclaims, "go ivan! go ivan!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yaaaaaaaaay!"
lpsmith says (to mamster), "No, that's his kid."
ct didn't see sunset, it all went dark too quickly. But he 
cheers along anyway.
Sargent says, "I am therefore entitled to 1.2% of the 
trophy."
Ivan asks, "Um...did I win?"
Sargent nudges Ivan.
inky exclaims, "go ivan!"
devil asks (to Sargent), "Where was your major hand?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing trophy to Ivan.
markm exclaims, "I-VAN I-VAN I-VAN!"
Tato gestures Ivan up to the podium.
Sargent says (to devil), "Shh. This is a family awards 
show."
Den says, "Yay Ivan!""
devil exclaims (to Ivan), "Congratulations, you x-New 
Yorker you!"
neild says, "I-VAN COCK-RUM! (CLAP CLAP 
CLAPCLAPCLAP)"
Dilbon says, "'e won"
liza blushes.
The crowd picks up the chant.
Den shoots a rogue double-quote.
neild hands Ivan a bagel.
Grocible says, "I would like to point out that I didn't beta 
test Sunset, owing to extreme sloth."
markm exclaims, "speech!"
markm says, "mmmm... bagel"
Ivan exclaims, "Whoo hoo!"
Sargent throws himself at the stage.
Ender says, "mmmm.... Rum....."
Sargent exclaims, "We love you, Ivan Cockrum!"
Den holds up a microphone.
Jemima :throws Sargent at the stage.
Kilivor is shouting for joy
Dilbon hands liza a pot.
Grocible says, "dagnabbit"
Ivan says, "Gosh!  Willikers!  Zowie!  I'm speech-less."
Ender asks (to dilbon), "Is it a plant pot?"
Ellison asks, "Australia's only in the movies, right?"
lpsmith gives speech to Ivan.
Sargent points out the goofiness of Ivan's statement.
Den throws some speechmarks at Ivan.
Tato 'accidentally' upstages Ivan
liza got RNA polymerase.
devil says, "Ivan Cockrum. Author with the coolest name."
liza gives RNA polymerase to mamster.
eileen approaches the podium
Ellison says, "that's why my two favorite bands are 
fictional- GWAR and Midnight Oil..."
TikiBoy says (to Ellison), "That's right, it doesn't exist 
outside of Hollywook."
Tato goes backstage.
eileen says, "And now, presenting today's final award..."
Jalkio exclaims, "Somebody update the scoreboard!"
Bruce cheers!
lpsmith sings "You say Ian, and I say Ivan,..."
HairBrain asks, "Hey Den!  You didn't leave anyway?"
ddyte says, "You say chewbacca and I say choobahka..."
Gunther exclaims, "COCK-RUM? How disgusting!"
Spatch exclaims (to jalkio), "IT IS UPDATED! YES WE 
HAVE A VIDEO!"
eileen exclaims, "We have a rep from last year's winning 
game... Aessa from So Far!!!"
Taj exclaims (to Ender), "Cardinal Biggles!"
Den says, "changed my mind - or something."
Grocible asks, "Aessa, eh?"
eileen says, "This is the award for Best Game of 1997"
Spatch says, "place yer bets now"
Paul asks, "What about the greek chorus from So Far?"
Grocible asks, "can we ask Aessa why she stood the 
author up?"
Ganvira says, "Oh, yeah, Aesa.""
Ellison bets on Daddy's Smelly Helper
Bruce exclaims, "SYMETRY!"
Bruce exclaims, "STIFFY MAKANE!"
Paul catches a flash of auburn, and puts it in his pocket.
Sargent says, "> MAYBE"
Spatch says, "This has ceased to be Interactive Fiction and 
gone straight on to Hyperactive."
inky asks, "auburn flasher?"
Den sticks a close-parenthesis at the end of his last 
statement
Jalkio exclaims, "HEIST!"
neild waits impatiently for Aessa.
Gunther exclaims, "BABEL! BABEL!"
liza exclaims, "DRAGON TOWN!"
Sargent catches Aessa and Tracy in a passionate embrace.
Ender says (to neild), "You'll never actually see her, you 
know..."
markm wants to whistle at Aessa...
lpsmith exclaims (to liza), "Yes!"
Paul starts cheering, and won't stop til the nominees are 
announced.
Stu042 cheers wildly!
Stu042 exclaims, "go swivel chair!"
Dilbon says, "chair-pak"
markm says, "Aessa's last name is Godot."
lpsmith exclaims, "Chair-pak!"
Bruce exclaims, "Stiffy Makane Meets The Chair-Pak 
2000!"
Grocible says, "chair-pak. hehe"
Ender is Looking for Godot.
inky says (to zarf), "although I bet "sexfar.z8" would be a 
popular download."
Sargent exclaims, "Dammit, I've said this before: we're 
waiting for LEFTY!"
Gunther has used a time machine, and already knows the 
winners, but he won't tell
Dilbon says, "No Sex So Far"
liza clears her throat. Loudly.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is that stupid Aessa here 
yet?"
Spatch says, "Aessa downloaded a virus off the web."
mef says, "Ahem."
Ganvira exclaims, "Aesa!  Aesa!!   Aesa!!  Aesa!!"
Den asks, "Best use of an obscenity in a title?"
Atomic says, "Whenever you're ready..."
liza shakes her head. "Aessa."
Adam shakes his head.  "Aessa."
Sargent says, "Man, that's worse than you both wearing 
the same dress."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Game nominees to zarf.
zarf goes to to the podium
zarf says, "Well, there's not much chance of me winning 
this year, but I'll read the nominees anyhow."
zarf exclaims, "For best game!"
zarf exclaims, "We have!"
zarf says, "(netlag, damn.)"
zarf exclaims, "A Bear's Night Out   (David Dyte)!"
Grocible has noticed a modicum of frustration all 
afternoon
Ender chants: "HECK NO TECHNO! HECK NO TECHNO!
zarf exclaims, "Babel   (Ian Finley)!"
neild exclaims, "YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!"
zarf exclaims, "Glowgrass   (Nate Cull)!"
devil exclaims, "David Dyte is God!"
markm exclaims, "Yay!"
Den says, "(Don't tell _me_ about netlag. Sheesh.)"
zarf exclaims, "Interstate Zero   (Adam Cadre)!"
Atomic bows down before all the nominees
zarf exclaims, "The Edifice   (Lucian Smith)!"
Sargent exclaims, "TRACY!"
markm claps.
Spatch exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Spatch exclaims, "Congratulations!"
Taj exclaims, "WOO! WOO! WOO!"
ddyte exclaims, "Tracy meets the Edifice!"
devil smiles mysteriously to David.
Den says, "Yay. Glwwoorlgass."
Ganvira exclaims, "Go dd!!!!!  Go DD!!!!!!!!!"
mef exclaims, "woo hoo!"
inky exclaims, "netlag for best game!"
Gunther exclaims, "Babel!"
Ender says (to devil), "Hey, you haven't impersonated the 
hint system from Curses yet."
Gunther exclaims, "Bear!"
lpsmith says, "Stranger becomes *really* friendly,..."
Adam exclaims (to lp), "Hee hee!"
Den says, "Netlag for most useful way of interrupting 
zarf."
zarf says, "And the winner is..."
zarf exclaims, "Innnnterstate Zeeeeero!"
Bruce exclaims, "Yay!"
mamster exclaims, "Woo!"
markm cheers wildly!  "Congratulations!"
neild exclaims, "WHO-HOO!!!!!!!"
Sargent exclaims, "Cool!"
lpsmith cheers wildly!
ddyte exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!!"
Ellison cheers
Adam asks, "Seriously?"
Den exclaims, "Nyeeeeow!"
jaysmith cheers at Adam!
inky exclaims, "woo-hoo!"
mamster exclaims (to markm), "Baby cries!"
Atomic applauds
lpsmith exclaims, "Yeaaaaah!"
Bruce cheers wilder!
liza exclaims, 
"ADAMADAMADMADMADMADMADMADMDAMDAMDAM
DAM DAMDMAMDAMADMAD!"
markm shakes Adam's hand.

Spatch exclaims, "WOOOOOOHOOOO!!"
zarf dances around the stage, albeit for someone else's 
game.
Atomic says, "well done, Adam...""
Adam exclaims, "Eeeagh!"
Sargent claps Adam on the back.
mef slaps Adam heartily on the back.
markm exclaims, "A-DAM A-DAM!"
ddyte exclaims, "Filth and perversion rules!"
Paul gives adam the "Mile High Salute"
Sargent exclaims, "Drinks are on Adam!"
TikiBoy exclaims, "Yay AdaM!!"
Bruce pours a drink on Adam.
Gunther wants an autograph from Adam
Adam says, "And here all my prepared remarks were for 
Best PC."
Spatch dumps an entire cooler of Gatorade over Adam's 
head.
Ganvira asks, "It was I-0?"
Adam says, "Wow.  I am stunned."
Adam says, "Really."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Game trophy to Adam.
Sargent says (to Adam), "Your speech must be in the form 
of a question."
eileen escorts Adam to the podium.
Ivan can hardly wait to see next year's crop of 
pornographic imitators.
Paul says, "If Aessa wouldn't show up for this, she's not 
worth chasing."
Adam says, "Golly."
Adam says, "I honestly don't know what to say here.  I 
guess all the fans of games without hardcore nudity split 
their votes four ways or something."
Spatch hollers, "POST-AWARDS PARTY ARE LOCATED IN 
THE ROOM ABOVE THE LONG HALL"
eileen exclaims, ""Thank you all for coming to the awards 
today!!!"
Waiter says (to anyone) who gets this check for 
$1,037.86?
Jalkio starts eating the hundreds of chockolate bars with 
"Heist" and "Symetry" scribed on them. He was going to 
share them in a celebration. He gets a sugar high that 
eases his depression a bit.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Damn. You mean we gotta 
clean all this up?"
lpsmith says, "The *real* party's here, right? ;-)"
Paul blushes, then congratulates the winners for real.
Ivan asks, "Wasn't that party enough already?"
mef says, "I don't know, I just see this grumpy old guy 
sweeping up..."
[Spatch] Return to your pants, citizens. There is nothing 
more to see.
[liza] Mmm... disconnect message.   

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